Monday, February 21, 2011
Wow, I didn't realize it had been three days! I thought I had only skipped one day.
So the last few days haven't been very exciting. I've been on an emotional roller coaster. Today I went with one of the army wives to get lab-work done, and then to breakfast. It was nice to get out and do something different.
I have been going from excited and planning for my soldier's homecoming which is less than a month away now, to feelings of severe loneliness and boredom, and everything in between!
This evening I read some of one of the books I ordered. It's called "Separated by duty, united in love." Something I took from it is to keep in mind all the reasons you miss your loved one, and remind them of how you appreciate them. For instance, all the little things that they did when they were home, or things they have done for you while deployed. (like changing the windshield wipers on the car, or picking up ginger ale when I was sick, or sending flowers for no reason but to say 'I love you') I think this sometimes gets overshadowed by the actual deployment. In my mind I often dwell on the fact that he's not here...and I am alone. But that is just a piece of it. There are so many reasons why I miss him, and there are so many things that I need to be doing to support him, if it is only to take care of myself and stay busy. I quickly lose sight of my goals when I get distracted by my feelings. I know that his biggest worry most of the time is if I'm doing okay.
So reading this book has helped me refocus on being the best I can be, on the home front. The last couple days I have really had a hard time keeping my emotions in check. But I feel some peace this evening and have regained focus!
As far as how his last few days have been.. It was really dusty there the last couple days. He took a picture of the dust in the air, and it was like clouds in the sky and the sun was barely peaking through. Between the dust and the smoke from other things burning it sounds like the air quality is pretty poor. I can't wait for him to get out of that environment.
We talked about what kind of foods he wants when he gets back home. I know my soldier loves some good food!!! So I am going to try and find some Midwest Skyline chili mix to make for him, or may have to order it on-line! It will be interesting to see how the homecoming unfolds. We have no idea what day they will be home and won't know until a couple days before, so once again, it's a bad situation for a planner type person like myself! If I don't take anything else away from being an army girlfriend/wife, it'll be flexibility and going with the flow!
Other than the weather and food, our conversations have been mostly random chit-chat. I love our conversations whether they are deep, silly, or anything in between! I just love seeing my soldier's handsome face and hearing his voice. I miss being with him in person! Some days it's hard to even imagine it.. to picture what it will actually feel like again to be in his embrace. I look at pictures sometimes and am jealous of myself in the picture, like hey, I want to be there again!!
Soon enough. In the meantime, I have to keep my head straight, stay focused and stay positive! I can do this! :)
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