It's officially the LAST day for 2010!!! Wow! What a crazy, eventful year we've had!
Unfortunately I am bringing in the New Year from bed! I am feeling a little sick today and decided to take it easy and stay home. I'm not that disappointed really. I am wore out from all the running around I've done the past couple days. Also, it's just not the same ringing in the new year with other people, and other couples, when your other half is thousands of miles away. There is no one to snuggle up to and watch the ball drop, or to kiss at midnight and bring in the new year with hope and cheers.
This year we just have to say our "Happy New Year!" wishes across the internet... and blow kisses instead of real ones. This time last year me and my honey were toasting our sake!
So anyway... I video chatted with my honey today, and he didn't have too much going on there. He has to start adjusting his sleep a little so he was going to stay up later and sleep in later, then probably go back to sleep during the day to prepare for starting his shift at midnight Saturday.
It was pouring down rain there today he said. He wasn't really prepared for it, and had on his fleece and no rain gear, so his fleece is soaked. He actually had to wring it out due to how saturated it was!
The only thing he got to do today was work on the infrared thing on the top of the helicopter. They asked for any volunteers to fix it, and no one else said anything, so he volunteered. It's crazy that some of the other guys would rather sit around and do nothing than put their skills to work.. but that is something that I really admire about my soldier. He is a 'get stuff done' kind of guy, especially at work, doing the things he enjoys and was trained to do.
That is all that really happened today. We just chit chatted about random topics, sent our kisses for New Years, and he said he will call me "from the future" tomorrow. It made me laugh! It is actually next year in Iraq now! Weird.
Well I am literally laying down and typing with my head rested on my shoulder...It's time to put in a movie and watch the clock tick down to next year! Happy 2011!!!
P.S. The Post Office closed early today!!! So didn't get to send out my care package to my soldier! I was really bummed because they are closed tomorrow..so I have to wait until Monday!! ugh!
Friday, December 31, 2010
Day Twelve.
Thursday December 30th 2010
Last night I had a horrible time sleeping. I was up after 3:00am. I got really anxious and worried that something bad was going to happen overseas and I ended up crying myself to sleep. Apparently there was an earthquake in Indiana around that time, so maybe that was the bad thing. I don't know, but it's probably the worst I've gotten so far since my boyfriend has been gone.
It's tough... he and I both talk about how grateful we are that it is a short deployment every time we talk..
Today was his day off. It was pretty uneventful, and boring for him. Only thing to do is watch movies or do stuff on the computer. There's only so much "computing" that one can do I imagine.
I talked him into letting me send him a package. They are shutting down the mail system in a couple weeks so I have to finish getting it all together and send it out tomorrow. I picked up a couple hand held games today. I figure if he doesn't care for them, I'm sure someone will get some use out of them. They were pretty cheap so no biggie. I got a Tetris game, Battleship, and Poker. Just something that can help pass the time when things are slow.
He will be switching shifts in a couple days. We're not sure how that is all going to work, and when we'll be able to chat. I'm sure it will be another big adjustment for him as far as his sleep schedule. That has got to be tough. I know I am grumpy when I don't get enough sleep, and switching my sleep times around would not be pretty! I've actually worked third shift before though and really liked it...I'm more of a night owl anyway, but the transition can be exhausting!
My day was pretty busy. I was hoping since I didn't sleep well that I'd get a nap in but I was running errands all afternoon, and then promised my brother I would take him to a movie at 9:15pm...so it's been a long day!
Lack of sleep doesn't help my emotional status either... so on that note, I'm going to try and get some shut eye and start fresh tomorrow! Can't believe tomorrow is New Year's Eve already! ~Goodnight...
Last night I had a horrible time sleeping. I was up after 3:00am. I got really anxious and worried that something bad was going to happen overseas and I ended up crying myself to sleep. Apparently there was an earthquake in Indiana around that time, so maybe that was the bad thing. I don't know, but it's probably the worst I've gotten so far since my boyfriend has been gone.
It's tough... he and I both talk about how grateful we are that it is a short deployment every time we talk..
Today was his day off. It was pretty uneventful, and boring for him. Only thing to do is watch movies or do stuff on the computer. There's only so much "computing" that one can do I imagine.
I talked him into letting me send him a package. They are shutting down the mail system in a couple weeks so I have to finish getting it all together and send it out tomorrow. I picked up a couple hand held games today. I figure if he doesn't care for them, I'm sure someone will get some use out of them. They were pretty cheap so no biggie. I got a Tetris game, Battleship, and Poker. Just something that can help pass the time when things are slow.
He will be switching shifts in a couple days. We're not sure how that is all going to work, and when we'll be able to chat. I'm sure it will be another big adjustment for him as far as his sleep schedule. That has got to be tough. I know I am grumpy when I don't get enough sleep, and switching my sleep times around would not be pretty! I've actually worked third shift before though and really liked it...I'm more of a night owl anyway, but the transition can be exhausting!
My day was pretty busy. I was hoping since I didn't sleep well that I'd get a nap in but I was running errands all afternoon, and then promised my brother I would take him to a movie at 9:15pm...so it's been a long day!
Lack of sleep doesn't help my emotional status either... so on that note, I'm going to try and get some shut eye and start fresh tomorrow! Can't believe tomorrow is New Year's Eve already! ~Goodnight...
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Day Eleven.
Wednesday December 29th 2010
Again I am writing after midnight but oh well. Day Eleven was my honey's birthday! It sounds like he had a pretty good birthday there on base, considering he was half way across the world!
A couple other soldiers asked him to come out for a cigarette, and then asked for his cigarette, and put it in the top of a cupcake, like a candle! Then they gave him a birthday card that a bunch of them signed. He said it was a kid's birthday card that said "you're another year older!" and when you opened it up there was a dolphin sound. SO silly, but it was so nice of everyone to get that for him and sign it for his birthday! I wish I could have done something for his birthday but I just got to send him birthday wishes..
The Sargent I guess found out it was his birthday and told him he had something for him... well, he had been talking to the sargent about a book series he's been reading, and the sargent is also reading it, and I guess the sargent told him "hey, I have something for you, go in the office... blah blah blah (I don't remember the details!) So anyway, the sargent says, just kidding - hand me your rifle. So he does. Then he says, "Take off your glasses," so he does, and then like four other soldiers proceed to jump on him and try to tape him to a chair! He fought them off for a while and they got his feet tied, then he finally gave in and they tied the rest of him up and taped a bow on his head!! There are pictures of this, so I can't wait to see it!
I'm so glad that amongst all the craziness there, that they are able to make the best of things. It sounds like he had a good birthday, so I am really happy! That is the best present.... knowing that he had a good day!
Again I am writing after midnight but oh well. Day Eleven was my honey's birthday! It sounds like he had a pretty good birthday there on base, considering he was half way across the world!
A couple other soldiers asked him to come out for a cigarette, and then asked for his cigarette, and put it in the top of a cupcake, like a candle! Then they gave him a birthday card that a bunch of them signed. He said it was a kid's birthday card that said "you're another year older!" and when you opened it up there was a dolphin sound. SO silly, but it was so nice of everyone to get that for him and sign it for his birthday! I wish I could have done something for his birthday but I just got to send him birthday wishes..
The Sargent I guess found out it was his birthday and told him he had something for him... well, he had been talking to the sargent about a book series he's been reading, and the sargent is also reading it, and I guess the sargent told him "hey, I have something for you, go in the office... blah blah blah (I don't remember the details!) So anyway, the sargent says, just kidding - hand me your rifle. So he does. Then he says, "Take off your glasses," so he does, and then like four other soldiers proceed to jump on him and try to tape him to a chair! He fought them off for a while and they got his feet tied, then he finally gave in and they tied the rest of him up and taped a bow on his head!! There are pictures of this, so I can't wait to see it!
I'm so glad that amongst all the craziness there, that they are able to make the best of things. It sounds like he had a good birthday, so I am really happy! That is the best present.... knowing that he had a good day!
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Day Ten.
Tuesday December 28th 2010
It's actually early in the morning on the 29th but I haven't had time prior to now. (SO it's Officially my honey's birthday!!! I hope that he has a super good day! We'll have to celebrate both our birthdays when he gets back because he'll be gone for mine too... and Valentine's Day! He'll pretty much miss almost all the major holidays by being over there.. bummer.)
I didn't get to chat with my guy as long as I wanted to today. He called later than usual and I had plans to meet a girl friend so had to keep it somewhat short. :(
Nothing exceptionally exciting for his day. He told me that they got to ride in these huge trucks that were super armored. And that he's glad that this is a short deployment! Next time (if/when there is another deployment) he knows to either have a bicycle shipped or buy one there because of the distance they have to walk.
He talked again about how there is nothing to do. I wish I could send him something but they are supposedly shutting down their mail system in a couple weeks once the National Guard starts filtering in and the Army starts filtering out.
He said at least the food is good! That's my honey, always with the food! :)
They have a laundry service there where you drop off your laundry BUT it takes 72 hours to get it back! The other catch is, you can only drop off 20 pieces of laundry at a time! He said that two socks count as one item though. I thought that was kind of amusing..
It sounds like he will be moving to a different shift on January 1st, working midnight to 0800. I thought it sounded like a good deal because he'll be working a shorter shift, but he said they will have 9 days on before getting a day off. But I suppose if there is nothing else to do, days off probably don't weigh out quite the same as they would back home.
My day was busy. I did some shopping (well mostly returning my friend's items) and then was invited to the Pacers vs Celtics game. My friend's brother's girlfriend had extra tickets since she is a Pace-mate!
I'm not much of a basketball fan, but for free tickets when I had nothing else going on...who could pass that up!? It was fun hanging out with my girl!!
They had another extra ticket, so it made me a little sad because I wished that my guy could be there with us. I do sometimes get that twinge of jealousy, or maybe that's not the right word, more like a longing accompanied by a stabbing pain in my heart, when I see a happy couple ogling each other and holding hands, etc.. I can't wait until we can do that again. Soon enough...
It's actually early in the morning on the 29th but I haven't had time prior to now. (SO it's Officially my honey's birthday!!! I hope that he has a super good day! We'll have to celebrate both our birthdays when he gets back because he'll be gone for mine too... and Valentine's Day! He'll pretty much miss almost all the major holidays by being over there.. bummer.)
I didn't get to chat with my guy as long as I wanted to today. He called later than usual and I had plans to meet a girl friend so had to keep it somewhat short. :(
Nothing exceptionally exciting for his day. He told me that they got to ride in these huge trucks that were super armored. And that he's glad that this is a short deployment! Next time (if/when there is another deployment) he knows to either have a bicycle shipped or buy one there because of the distance they have to walk.
He talked again about how there is nothing to do. I wish I could send him something but they are supposedly shutting down their mail system in a couple weeks once the National Guard starts filtering in and the Army starts filtering out.
He said at least the food is good! That's my honey, always with the food! :)
They have a laundry service there where you drop off your laundry BUT it takes 72 hours to get it back! The other catch is, you can only drop off 20 pieces of laundry at a time! He said that two socks count as one item though. I thought that was kind of amusing..
It sounds like he will be moving to a different shift on January 1st, working midnight to 0800. I thought it sounded like a good deal because he'll be working a shorter shift, but he said they will have 9 days on before getting a day off. But I suppose if there is nothing else to do, days off probably don't weigh out quite the same as they would back home.
My day was busy. I did some shopping (well mostly returning my friend's items) and then was invited to the Pacers vs Celtics game. My friend's brother's girlfriend had extra tickets since she is a Pace-mate!
I'm not much of a basketball fan, but for free tickets when I had nothing else going on...who could pass that up!? It was fun hanging out with my girl!!
They had another extra ticket, so it made me a little sad because I wished that my guy could be there with us. I do sometimes get that twinge of jealousy, or maybe that's not the right word, more like a longing accompanied by a stabbing pain in my heart, when I see a happy couple ogling each other and holding hands, etc.. I can't wait until we can do that again. Soon enough...
Monday, December 27, 2010
Day Nine.
Monday December 27, 2010
It's been a mostly uneventful day. I think all the running for the holidays finally got to me! I did absolutely nothing today! I felt like a bump on a log!
I did get up and ready to talk to my honey, and we got to video chat today for about an hour. I had jotted down a couple things to tell him about that I kept forgetting. After hearing all about his day I felt like they were silly and really nothing to chat about.. but he humored me as I told him about how the gas prices were high and about the giant pizza we had on Christmas Eve.
His day was pretty busy. Well, he said not much was going on until after lunch, but then he got to basically disassemble a 50-cal machine gun today and fix it.
There was a pilot that needed someone to ride along in one of the helicopters, but there was someone standing closer to the pilot than he was, so he didn't get to go. I know that he is chomping at the bit for that opportunity. I can't say that I blame him! I would be too!
I guess some pilots have spotted people trying to set up IED's but because they find them and get to them before they can get it set up, it prevents them from sending the mortars their way, or setting up the roadside bombs, etc. It's such a scary environment.. It feels hard to believe that he is so close to that sort of danger.
I try not to let my mind dwell there for too long though. Otherwise I will go insane with worry!
He explained to me about the "FARP" which stands for Forward Armament and Refueling Point. He will be rotating into duties there, for a few days at a time here soon. Right now he spends most time in the "SPAM." I don't know what that acronym stands for. But it's a small maintenance area of some kind, not in the main hangars. He said today it was him and two others working on the 50-cal, and the others were playing Playstation. There just hasn't been much going on. Apparently there is much more action at the FARP and it's more of a quick turnaround area for the helicopters to come in, get whatever done and take right back off.
I'm sure he'll be digging that when he gets to go.
We had a nice chat today (as usual) but we were both in a kind of goofy mood so it was fun to be silly again with him. On that note... I am headed to bed. It's technically day ten now, but whose counting....
It's been a mostly uneventful day. I think all the running for the holidays finally got to me! I did absolutely nothing today! I felt like a bump on a log!
I did get up and ready to talk to my honey, and we got to video chat today for about an hour. I had jotted down a couple things to tell him about that I kept forgetting. After hearing all about his day I felt like they were silly and really nothing to chat about.. but he humored me as I told him about how the gas prices were high and about the giant pizza we had on Christmas Eve.
His day was pretty busy. Well, he said not much was going on until after lunch, but then he got to basically disassemble a 50-cal machine gun today and fix it.
There was a pilot that needed someone to ride along in one of the helicopters, but there was someone standing closer to the pilot than he was, so he didn't get to go. I know that he is chomping at the bit for that opportunity. I can't say that I blame him! I would be too!
I guess some pilots have spotted people trying to set up IED's but because they find them and get to them before they can get it set up, it prevents them from sending the mortars their way, or setting up the roadside bombs, etc. It's such a scary environment.. It feels hard to believe that he is so close to that sort of danger.
I try not to let my mind dwell there for too long though. Otherwise I will go insane with worry!
He explained to me about the "FARP" which stands for Forward Armament and Refueling Point. He will be rotating into duties there, for a few days at a time here soon. Right now he spends most time in the "SPAM." I don't know what that acronym stands for. But it's a small maintenance area of some kind, not in the main hangars. He said today it was him and two others working on the 50-cal, and the others were playing Playstation. There just hasn't been much going on. Apparently there is much more action at the FARP and it's more of a quick turnaround area for the helicopters to come in, get whatever done and take right back off.
I'm sure he'll be digging that when he gets to go.
We had a nice chat today (as usual) but we were both in a kind of goofy mood so it was fun to be silly again with him. On that note... I am headed to bed. It's technically day ten now, but whose counting....
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Day Eight.
Today was a little rougher than the past few.
I had my last Christmas gathering to attend, and was to be traveling around the time that my boyfriend would normally be calling. We had talked about just doing email today, but last night I sent him a message and told him to go ahead and call my cell phone and at least we could say hello to each other. I do like to hear his voice as often as possible..
So I arrived at my Christmas celebration and left my phone in my purse. Usually I am attached at the hip with it, especially if I know he'll be calling. For some reason I didn't think about it. I was too busy chatting and snacking on pre-lunch goodies... I suddenly remembered and went to my purse and of course there was a missed call and a voicemail.
I was about in tears when I listened to my voicemail. I hated that I had been so distracted and totally spaced it. I was really mad at myself! So I sent a text to his email and asked if he got a chance to call back I'd really like to talk to him if he wasn't too tired.
I really wasn't optimistic about receiving a return call so I tried to keep my composure and choke back tears. By then, it was time to get our plates for lunch and as soon as I sat down at the table with my food, my phone rang. I excused myself from the table to take the call.
We only chatted for a few minutes. He had a good day. He got to work on some helicopters today, so I'm sure that was nice for him! I think getting to put his skills to work has been really rewarding and I am so happy that he is getting that satisfaction for all his hard work training for it.
I felt bad for asking him to call back and then cutting the conversation short. He of course understood. I can't always read his emotions over the phone though and I'm not sure if he shares them all of the time. But I think he was okay. I wonder if the home-sickness is getting to him, but I can't quite tell and I haven't asked about it yet. He did say he was having withdraws from not being with his honey the other day though.
This last month was the longest period of time we had ever been together as a couple. Before he left we were just dating, and became "boyfriend/girlfriend" in our letters... yes I actually wrote him a letter while he was at basic training and asked him if he wanted to officially be my boyfriend!! We spent the holidays together last year while he was on holiday block for two weeks at AIT and he came home for Christmas and New Years, and then for two weeks in August 2010 when he was transferring from AIT to his permanent duty station. Other than that, it's only been weekends or four-day holiday weekends that we have gotten to spend together.
It was about three and a half weeks that we spent together before he left for Iraq. So one would think we would be used to the long-distance relationship'ing by now! I am just ready for us to have time together and not have a deadline looming over our heads. It will be so nice when he gets back and we know that he'll be home for at least 18 months. (well, I still can't say we will KNOW anything, because in the Army, it seems like as soon as you think you know something...it all changes! Just a word to the wise!)
My day has really felt like "one of those days" especially when I got home and realized that my water bottle had spilled in my purse, soaking everything in there. That was just the icing on the cake. So I am now able to see the entire contents of my purse on my bedroom floor. Happy Time. ..This phrase makes me smile whenever I say it because it's from a silly commercial that my boyfriend and I often quoted...it's the little things like that, that remind me of our times together that help me keep smiling each day until he is back home safe and we can create new funny moments!
Tomorrow is the first day in the last five days that I have nothing planned! I will be sleeping in and video chatting with my honey as long as our hearts desire! I can't wait!!!
I had my last Christmas gathering to attend, and was to be traveling around the time that my boyfriend would normally be calling. We had talked about just doing email today, but last night I sent him a message and told him to go ahead and call my cell phone and at least we could say hello to each other. I do like to hear his voice as often as possible..
So I arrived at my Christmas celebration and left my phone in my purse. Usually I am attached at the hip with it, especially if I know he'll be calling. For some reason I didn't think about it. I was too busy chatting and snacking on pre-lunch goodies... I suddenly remembered and went to my purse and of course there was a missed call and a voicemail.
I was about in tears when I listened to my voicemail. I hated that I had been so distracted and totally spaced it. I was really mad at myself! So I sent a text to his email and asked if he got a chance to call back I'd really like to talk to him if he wasn't too tired.
I really wasn't optimistic about receiving a return call so I tried to keep my composure and choke back tears. By then, it was time to get our plates for lunch and as soon as I sat down at the table with my food, my phone rang. I excused myself from the table to take the call.
We only chatted for a few minutes. He had a good day. He got to work on some helicopters today, so I'm sure that was nice for him! I think getting to put his skills to work has been really rewarding and I am so happy that he is getting that satisfaction for all his hard work training for it.
I felt bad for asking him to call back and then cutting the conversation short. He of course understood. I can't always read his emotions over the phone though and I'm not sure if he shares them all of the time. But I think he was okay. I wonder if the home-sickness is getting to him, but I can't quite tell and I haven't asked about it yet. He did say he was having withdraws from not being with his honey the other day though.
This last month was the longest period of time we had ever been together as a couple. Before he left we were just dating, and became "boyfriend/girlfriend" in our letters... yes I actually wrote him a letter while he was at basic training and asked him if he wanted to officially be my boyfriend!! We spent the holidays together last year while he was on holiday block for two weeks at AIT and he came home for Christmas and New Years, and then for two weeks in August 2010 when he was transferring from AIT to his permanent duty station. Other than that, it's only been weekends or four-day holiday weekends that we have gotten to spend together.
It was about three and a half weeks that we spent together before he left for Iraq. So one would think we would be used to the long-distance relationship'ing by now! I am just ready for us to have time together and not have a deadline looming over our heads. It will be so nice when he gets back and we know that he'll be home for at least 18 months. (well, I still can't say we will KNOW anything, because in the Army, it seems like as soon as you think you know something...it all changes! Just a word to the wise!)
My day has really felt like "one of those days" especially when I got home and realized that my water bottle had spilled in my purse, soaking everything in there. That was just the icing on the cake. So I am now able to see the entire contents of my purse on my bedroom floor. Happy Time. ..This phrase makes me smile whenever I say it because it's from a silly commercial that my boyfriend and I often quoted...it's the little things like that, that remind me of our times together that help me keep smiling each day until he is back home safe and we can create new funny moments!
Tomorrow is the first day in the last five days that I have nothing planned! I will be sleeping in and video chatting with my honey as long as our hearts desire! I can't wait!!!
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Day Seven.
It's Christmas, and it's officially been a week since my soldier went overseas!
There are some ways it's felt like an eternity and others it seems to have gone quickly.
My boyfriend and I got to chat via Skype video chat this morning! It was so nice to see his face, and "in person." I can see his face any time in pics, but it's just so much nicer when I'm able to talk "face to face" with him!! It's actually the first time we have been able to video chat since he's been gone!
He has to share the one internet cable with 2 other people, but fortunately he had it all to his self at that time, so we were able to talk for over 1 1/2 hours!! It went by so quickly and I wasn't ready to disconnect yet, but I had Christmas plans to attend to.
I did however jot down a couple things today while on the phone so I would remember what all we talked about. He got a new hat today. It looks like a camo-fishing hat, with his rank sewn on it. They can wear it while "in country" and it's approved head gear. I assume it just helps cover the face and neck more than a regular BCU cap that he has been wearing. They switched over to the BCU cap while he was at AIT, from the black berets.
He said they got to go through some care packages today. They just open up the boxes and the soldiers can go through them at their leisure. He picked up some SPF 15 lip balm, Avon brand... I only know this because he showed it on the webcam, and we were holding things up to the webcam because the writing was backwards on our screens but it was of course the right way on the other person's screen who was viewing it. It was just amusing for some reason!
He was able to get some Red Bull, but I guess they have another brand there that is free to them that tastes similar to Red Bull. There are skids of water bottles stacked all over the base as well.
He described the bathroom & shower area and showed me his room on the video camera. One of his buddies that is rooming with him came in and I got to wave Hi to him too.
I really enjoyed chatting with him, but tonight as I rehash all the details and picture it in my head, I have such a sense of longing to be there with him...
So far, at least as of 7:30pm in Iraq, all was well on base and no sign of getting shelled. He did inform me though that it usually doesn't happen in the daytime. Sometimes I wonder why I ask some questions..because I'm not sure if I really want to know the answers!! Oh well.
We were talking about the potential for no more phone or video chats later on due to being moved to a new area in a couple weeks. Apparently the National Guard is going to be filtering in. So, at that time his unit will be moved into what he says is a warehouse and they most likely will not have internet connection there. Which, if I must say, really sucks!
I told him that they should at least give them SOMETHING!! To which he replied, "they don't have to give us shit!" Which is true, but annoying, and really terrible for morale. But I guess it is what it is and we'll just have to deal with it. I guess what bothers me the most about it, is that they won't have internet, or cell phones, and they are shutting down snail mail in a couple weeks. So these soldiers are just out there with no family contact.
I shouldn't say none I guess. There is a "MWR" Center (which stands for Morale, Welfare and Recreation) that has internet and phone service I think. But if you take 90+ soldiers who all want to call or email or whatever, I'm sure it'll be a pain. Sigh.
SO, anyway... he showed me his crazy pillow today. He was telling me before that he has a crazy lumpy pillow. It is basically like giant chunks of foam stuffed in there and when he lays his head down the lumps get all displaced and it kinda swallows his head. It was pretty funny because I could see all the little edges of the pillow foam chunks sticking out.
Speaking of pillows, I am ready for bed I think. I have been fighting with my computer this evening trying to get a video message that my boyfriend sent to me on oovoo, but for some reason I think oovoo is having issues, I hope, or it's my computer having the issues! So we'll see!!
I'll be thinking happy thoughts of my wonderful Christmas present tonight... getting to see my honey's face on my computer, on Christmas morning! It's not as good as the real thing, but it's the next best thing!
Merry Christmas!
There are some ways it's felt like an eternity and others it seems to have gone quickly.
My boyfriend and I got to chat via Skype video chat this morning! It was so nice to see his face, and "in person." I can see his face any time in pics, but it's just so much nicer when I'm able to talk "face to face" with him!! It's actually the first time we have been able to video chat since he's been gone!
He has to share the one internet cable with 2 other people, but fortunately he had it all to his self at that time, so we were able to talk for over 1 1/2 hours!! It went by so quickly and I wasn't ready to disconnect yet, but I had Christmas plans to attend to.
I did however jot down a couple things today while on the phone so I would remember what all we talked about. He got a new hat today. It looks like a camo-fishing hat, with his rank sewn on it. They can wear it while "in country" and it's approved head gear. I assume it just helps cover the face and neck more than a regular BCU cap that he has been wearing. They switched over to the BCU cap while he was at AIT, from the black berets.
He said they got to go through some care packages today. They just open up the boxes and the soldiers can go through them at their leisure. He picked up some SPF 15 lip balm, Avon brand... I only know this because he showed it on the webcam, and we were holding things up to the webcam because the writing was backwards on our screens but it was of course the right way on the other person's screen who was viewing it. It was just amusing for some reason!
He was able to get some Red Bull, but I guess they have another brand there that is free to them that tastes similar to Red Bull. There are skids of water bottles stacked all over the base as well.
He described the bathroom & shower area and showed me his room on the video camera. One of his buddies that is rooming with him came in and I got to wave Hi to him too.
I really enjoyed chatting with him, but tonight as I rehash all the details and picture it in my head, I have such a sense of longing to be there with him...
So far, at least as of 7:30pm in Iraq, all was well on base and no sign of getting shelled. He did inform me though that it usually doesn't happen in the daytime. Sometimes I wonder why I ask some questions..because I'm not sure if I really want to know the answers!! Oh well.
We were talking about the potential for no more phone or video chats later on due to being moved to a new area in a couple weeks. Apparently the National Guard is going to be filtering in. So, at that time his unit will be moved into what he says is a warehouse and they most likely will not have internet connection there. Which, if I must say, really sucks!
I told him that they should at least give them SOMETHING!! To which he replied, "they don't have to give us shit!" Which is true, but annoying, and really terrible for morale. But I guess it is what it is and we'll just have to deal with it. I guess what bothers me the most about it, is that they won't have internet, or cell phones, and they are shutting down snail mail in a couple weeks. So these soldiers are just out there with no family contact.
I shouldn't say none I guess. There is a "MWR" Center (which stands for Morale, Welfare and Recreation) that has internet and phone service I think. But if you take 90+ soldiers who all want to call or email or whatever, I'm sure it'll be a pain. Sigh.
SO, anyway... he showed me his crazy pillow today. He was telling me before that he has a crazy lumpy pillow. It is basically like giant chunks of foam stuffed in there and when he lays his head down the lumps get all displaced and it kinda swallows his head. It was pretty funny because I could see all the little edges of the pillow foam chunks sticking out.
Speaking of pillows, I am ready for bed I think. I have been fighting with my computer this evening trying to get a video message that my boyfriend sent to me on oovoo, but for some reason I think oovoo is having issues, I hope, or it's my computer having the issues! So we'll see!!
I'll be thinking happy thoughts of my wonderful Christmas present tonight... getting to see my honey's face on my computer, on Christmas morning! It's not as good as the real thing, but it's the next best thing!
Merry Christmas!
Friday, December 24, 2010
Day Six.
It's Christmas Eve! Kinda hard to believe. It is finally starting to feel a little like the holidays now.
So update on yesterday's phone call - I did get a call from my soldier! :)
His mom, brother and sister-in-law were all there to partake in the call as well. So that was a nice treat!
We had him on speaker phone for a little while and he talked about the base and some of the things he's been doing.
Yesterday was his first day to check out the "shop" where they work on the helicopters. He met the Sargent and got to meet some other people. Sounds like it is becoming more official feeling and he is getting the feel for what he will be doing, or at least some of the things he'll be doing.
I was able to find some pictures on another soldier's facebook page of the base and the living arrangements. It's not the best, that's for sure. From what I can see, and from what he has explained, they live in what looks like the trailers you see on a construction site. The area around the base is pretty desolate looking.
We actually got a chance to talk for quite a while yesterday. After the speaker phone conversation, we talked for probably a half-hour until the house phone died, then he called back on my cell phone and we talked for another 25 minutes or so. It's funny though, because I couldn't even tell you what all we chatted about!!
Sometimes I wish I would take notes on the phone just so I can retain all the information!
He sounded pretty good. The long days are starting to take a toll I think.
Today I went over to his dad's house to have Christmas celebrations with his dad, step-mom, brother, sister-in-law and niece. His plan was to call their house and chat with everyone, however, for some reason the call wouldn't go through on their home phone. So he called on my cell and we just passed it around.
He was pretty beat today. I could just hear it in his voice. It was a long day, and they aren't used to working 12 hours, and having to be up a couple hours before work, and then dinner and personal time after work, and of course the trick is leaving enough room for sleep time.
Sounds like he was actually able to do his "real job" today! It's been a long time since he's gotten to work with the helicopters the way he was trained to do so. In fact, there wasn't one single helicopter on the base at home, as they were all deployed as well!
So I think he was glad to get the opportunity to get his hands dirty a little bit today. I didn't really chat long with him today. I knew that he was super tired and need to get to bed. We plan to try and video chat, for the first time since he's left, in the morning. I am looking forward to seeing his face on the screen!! I will just want to kiss it!! :)
Today was a really fun time with his family. I don't want to speak too soon, but it's starting to get a little easier. I think being with his family, people who know him as well as I do (and in some cases, better), that it makes me feel like I'm with a little piece of him at least.
I am saying my prayers tonight for him and all the soldiers there (as I have been every day/night!) He said that the last "incident" happened around Thanksgiving, or maybe even on Thanksgiving, and that they are expecting something on Christmas. Apparently the "bad guys" like to send them home made rockets for the holidays. Jerks.
So that has me a little on edge today. I know that it is already Christmas Day there, so falling asleep tonight may be a little more difficult. Actually, I have had a hard time sleeping since he left, but tonight I will be anxiously awaiting tomorrow morning when I get to make contact with him.
On another note: it's snowing. It is snowing beautiful thick flakes! I am not the biggest fan of snow, however, I do think it is beautiful and magical looking. I guess I'll be having a White Christmas this year. My honey will be having a Tan Christmas!
So update on yesterday's phone call - I did get a call from my soldier! :)
His mom, brother and sister-in-law were all there to partake in the call as well. So that was a nice treat!
We had him on speaker phone for a little while and he talked about the base and some of the things he's been doing.
Yesterday was his first day to check out the "shop" where they work on the helicopters. He met the Sargent and got to meet some other people. Sounds like it is becoming more official feeling and he is getting the feel for what he will be doing, or at least some of the things he'll be doing.
I was able to find some pictures on another soldier's facebook page of the base and the living arrangements. It's not the best, that's for sure. From what I can see, and from what he has explained, they live in what looks like the trailers you see on a construction site. The area around the base is pretty desolate looking.
We actually got a chance to talk for quite a while yesterday. After the speaker phone conversation, we talked for probably a half-hour until the house phone died, then he called back on my cell phone and we talked for another 25 minutes or so. It's funny though, because I couldn't even tell you what all we chatted about!!
Sometimes I wish I would take notes on the phone just so I can retain all the information!
He sounded pretty good. The long days are starting to take a toll I think.
Today I went over to his dad's house to have Christmas celebrations with his dad, step-mom, brother, sister-in-law and niece. His plan was to call their house and chat with everyone, however, for some reason the call wouldn't go through on their home phone. So he called on my cell and we just passed it around.
He was pretty beat today. I could just hear it in his voice. It was a long day, and they aren't used to working 12 hours, and having to be up a couple hours before work, and then dinner and personal time after work, and of course the trick is leaving enough room for sleep time.
Sounds like he was actually able to do his "real job" today! It's been a long time since he's gotten to work with the helicopters the way he was trained to do so. In fact, there wasn't one single helicopter on the base at home, as they were all deployed as well!
So I think he was glad to get the opportunity to get his hands dirty a little bit today. I didn't really chat long with him today. I knew that he was super tired and need to get to bed. We plan to try and video chat, for the first time since he's left, in the morning. I am looking forward to seeing his face on the screen!! I will just want to kiss it!! :)
Today was a really fun time with his family. I don't want to speak too soon, but it's starting to get a little easier. I think being with his family, people who know him as well as I do (and in some cases, better), that it makes me feel like I'm with a little piece of him at least.
I am saying my prayers tonight for him and all the soldiers there (as I have been every day/night!) He said that the last "incident" happened around Thanksgiving, or maybe even on Thanksgiving, and that they are expecting something on Christmas. Apparently the "bad guys" like to send them home made rockets for the holidays. Jerks.
So that has me a little on edge today. I know that it is already Christmas Day there, so falling asleep tonight may be a little more difficult. Actually, I have had a hard time sleeping since he left, but tonight I will be anxiously awaiting tomorrow morning when I get to make contact with him.
On another note: it's snowing. It is snowing beautiful thick flakes! I am not the biggest fan of snow, however, I do think it is beautiful and magical looking. I guess I'll be having a White Christmas this year. My honey will be having a Tan Christmas!
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Day Five.
I think I will start using the abbreviation "SBF" for "soldier boyfriend" so I don't have to type it out all the time!
So had a nice time last night with my SBF's family. We went to a Dinner Theater Christmas program. It was pretty good, nice songs and costumes, dancing and silly jokes by the announcer.
There was a portion of the program that was dedicated to the soldiers and veterans that were there and those serving overseas. It was very moving. I was actually doing okay until they had a singer dressed as a soldier singing "I'll be home for Christmas" and then I had a moment.. I had to excuse myself from the theater for a minute to regain my composure. But I was able to pull it together and rejoin the group.
I was trying really hard not to let my emotions get to me. I had to just try and focus on the moment and enjoy the show! It ended pretty late and we had some wine afterward, but I just could not fall asleep!
I don't know if it was because I was sleeping somewhere different, or just the anticipation of knowing that SBF was going to be calling "early" in the morning.
So far we haven't heard anything. It's about noon here. I think he was going to try and call earlier but I know he had some things to do today.
Honestly, I think the worst part today is the waiting... not knowing when or if he will get a chance to call.. but since there is a good possibility, I don't want to wander too far from the phone. I would like to jump in the shower, but he's sure to call just as soon as I do!!
Not much else planned for today. As soon as I hear from him I'll take a shower and probably pick up a last minute Christmas gift, and that's about it!
I may post again later if I do get word from my SBF! :)
So had a nice time last night with my SBF's family. We went to a Dinner Theater Christmas program. It was pretty good, nice songs and costumes, dancing and silly jokes by the announcer.
There was a portion of the program that was dedicated to the soldiers and veterans that were there and those serving overseas. It was very moving. I was actually doing okay until they had a singer dressed as a soldier singing "I'll be home for Christmas" and then I had a moment.. I had to excuse myself from the theater for a minute to regain my composure. But I was able to pull it together and rejoin the group.
I was trying really hard not to let my emotions get to me. I had to just try and focus on the moment and enjoy the show! It ended pretty late and we had some wine afterward, but I just could not fall asleep!
I don't know if it was because I was sleeping somewhere different, or just the anticipation of knowing that SBF was going to be calling "early" in the morning.
So far we haven't heard anything. It's about noon here. I think he was going to try and call earlier but I know he had some things to do today.
Honestly, I think the worst part today is the waiting... not knowing when or if he will get a chance to call.. but since there is a good possibility, I don't want to wander too far from the phone. I would like to jump in the shower, but he's sure to call just as soon as I do!!
Not much else planned for today. As soon as I hear from him I'll take a shower and probably pick up a last minute Christmas gift, and that's about it!
I may post again later if I do get word from my SBF! :)
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Day Four.
I probably won't have a chance to write later today, so doing a quick note this afternoon.
I got to talk to my boyfriend around 12:30p today. I am SO glad because after a couple days of not hearing his voice, I was starting to get a little down. I know that it's inevitable that there WILL be days of no word from him, but it doesn't make it any easier. I unfortunately have an over active mind!
The delay on the phone however was ridiculous! He was using oovoo to call my cell phone. It would be 3 or 4 seconds at least after I would say something, that he would hear it, and visa versa.
Tomorrow I'll be at his mom's house so he will call a land-line, and maybe it will be better. We haven't had the chance to video chat yet, so that could even be less of a delay.. we'll see!
I am getting ready to head over to his mom's house to do some festive dinner plans and visiting. I will enjoy being with his family, but am afraid that it will be even more difficult to keep my wits about me. I hope that they will be understanding, and not think me weak if I get emotional. I can't help but miss him. It leaves my heart aching every moment.
Last night I was looking for the moon. It was pretty cloudy but I could see it's glow.
I used to take solace in the fact that where ever we were, we were looking at the same moon.
It's different with us being so far apart now that even our nights and days are different. We cannot even look at the same moon at the same time. His moon is hours ahead of mine. It's a strange feeling.
I got to talk to my boyfriend around 12:30p today. I am SO glad because after a couple days of not hearing his voice, I was starting to get a little down. I know that it's inevitable that there WILL be days of no word from him, but it doesn't make it any easier. I unfortunately have an over active mind!
The delay on the phone however was ridiculous! He was using oovoo to call my cell phone. It would be 3 or 4 seconds at least after I would say something, that he would hear it, and visa versa.
Tomorrow I'll be at his mom's house so he will call a land-line, and maybe it will be better. We haven't had the chance to video chat yet, so that could even be less of a delay.. we'll see!
I am getting ready to head over to his mom's house to do some festive dinner plans and visiting. I will enjoy being with his family, but am afraid that it will be even more difficult to keep my wits about me. I hope that they will be understanding, and not think me weak if I get emotional. I can't help but miss him. It leaves my heart aching every moment.
Last night I was looking for the moon. It was pretty cloudy but I could see it's glow.
I used to take solace in the fact that where ever we were, we were looking at the same moon.
It's different with us being so far apart now that even our nights and days are different. We cannot even look at the same moon at the same time. His moon is hours ahead of mine. It's a strange feeling.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Day Three.
So it's day three. Only ?? days left to go! This morning I had an email from him. It was nice to have some kind of contact. He didn't have a lot to report really. I was worried about spending the money on my car to get it looked at and fixed if needed, but of course he told me not to worry about it.
I had to force myself to get motivated to do things today. It doesn't help that it is SO cold and snowy here.
But within a span of about 4 hours I had my car in, and serviced and it wasn't too much of a dent in the bank account. At least I'll have some peace of mind driving back to Kansas.
I am feeling like a bit of a scrooge and kinda wish I could just skip Christmas. I am not sure how much celebrating I feel like doing. I know it is probably good for me to be around people but I'm not really looking forward to it at the moment. I don't feel depressed really, just indifferent maybe?
It is still early in the evening. I am debating on driving across town to visit a friend for a couple hours tonight. Otherwise, I'll probably be stirring in my skin and thinking too much.
I really hope to be able to chat with him again soon. I saw on facebook where a soldier in another unit posted something about my soldier's unit flying to Iraq - so it sounds like they are in transit. Updates to follow as usual...
I had to force myself to get motivated to do things today. It doesn't help that it is SO cold and snowy here.
But within a span of about 4 hours I had my car in, and serviced and it wasn't too much of a dent in the bank account. At least I'll have some peace of mind driving back to Kansas.
I am feeling like a bit of a scrooge and kinda wish I could just skip Christmas. I am not sure how much celebrating I feel like doing. I know it is probably good for me to be around people but I'm not really looking forward to it at the moment. I don't feel depressed really, just indifferent maybe?
It is still early in the evening. I am debating on driving across town to visit a friend for a couple hours tonight. Otherwise, I'll probably be stirring in my skin and thinking too much.
I really hope to be able to chat with him again soon. I saw on facebook where a soldier in another unit posted something about my soldier's unit flying to Iraq - so it sounds like they are in transit. Updates to follow as usual...
Monday, December 20, 2010
Day One & Two
Sunday, December 19th 2010 - Day One.
This day was filled with me packing to take a trip home for the holidays, and driving 10 hours across the country!
I actually teetered back and forth a bit about leaving this day. A part of me didn't want to leave all his stuff.. it was a piece of him and made me feel closer to him, being surrounded by it I suppose.
But, I was too anxious to sit around and be alone and I knew I eventually was going to have to leave and go home to visit family, and so I marched onward!
It took forever to pack and then I forgot I should probably clean out the fridge, and then do dishes and take out trash, and unplug everything and turn down the heat.. I was tired before I ever got out the door!!!
I finally loaded up my car, like everything I could possibly need in a 2 week time period...games, movies, about 6 pair of shoes, a CROCK-POT for Pete's sake!!! (But it IS the holidays and you never know when you will need to make wassail! And if you've never had it, you should!)
I left around 1:00pm, and arrived "back home" around 11:30pm (my time) So all in all it took about 10 1/2 hrs, with only a few glitches along the way. I was a tad worried about my car, as it smelled a bit sweet like it was over heating, however it wasn't. I will be getting it checked out before I head back.
Now on to the interesting part of this day! I visited with my mom for a while once I got in and unloaded.
Monday, December 20th 2010 - Day Two.
My cell phone rang at about 1:19am on Monday morning! I knew who it had to be and I was SO excited.
I honestly didn't think I would hear from him for a couple days due to traveling.
It was so nice to hear his voice! He informed me that they were already in Kuwait! I couldn't believe it!
The delay was pretty bad from when he would say something, and I would hear it and try to respond, but he might already be starting to say something else, so it was a little difficult to have a flow to the conversation. He said I didn't sound to bad though, so maybe it was only on my end. The USO there had free 20 minute phone calls for them, which I am so thankful for!! That was such a great surprise!!
Apparently they flew directly from the U.S. to Germany, which I figured they would have a lay over or something in D.C. since he was leaving from Kansas! So he got to see two sunrises in one day and had about 2 hours of sleep. His head was "wishy-washy" he said and he felt drunk from being sleep deprived.
There were a couple times he didn't really make a ton of sense, poor thing!
Twenty minutes flew by and I wasn't ready to get off the phone, but we really didn't have much else to talk about. My day had only been driving and trying to keep alert and focused on the road. His day(s) were all blended together and he wasn't really sure which way was up.
It's so strange that he is that far away. I think that is ONE of the most difficult parts to this puzzle. There is no fast way to get to each other. There is a lot of land, and ocean, more land, and a freaking desert to go through in order to be with him at this point. Before, when he was at AIT (advanced individual training) it was only a half-day of flying and wah-lah! I even flew down to Virginia a couple times over the weekend. It was exhausting, but it was always worth it.
I can't remember the time difference. I think they are 8 or 9 hours ahead. He said once they get to Iraq, it might be less. But when I go home, it'll be an extra hour anyway. It's all quite confusing! I keep counting all day to myself... "Okay, so it's 2pm here, so it's gotta be...3,4,5...10pm there!" And then I wonder what he is doing at that moment, halfway across the world.
I have been pretty emotional all day today. It has finally sunk in. I was missing our apartment, and missing him, and wishing we were both back there together. I have been trying so hard to "stay strong" like he asks me to, for him. I think a person can still be a strong person, and also at the same time have a day where our skin just isn't as tough as it usually is. I think that just means you're human.
So it sounded like they were going to be headed to Iraq in a couple days, so either today or tomorrow they'll be heading there, or possibly arriving there. They had some kind of training to do this morning at 0600, but that's about all he knew of at that time.
He said the only "plumbing" facilities were port-o-pots, which I find hard to believe and really gross!
The desert was just that.. a desert. No trees, just sand, and everything tan and flat. The weather was in the high 60's. Lucky for him he is there in the winter time!
I'm not sure when I'll get to talk to him next. I actually sent him 2 emails today... just can't help myself!
If I feel like I need to chat or don't want to forget to tell him something... I gotta get it to him somehow. Text isn't an option right now, so he better be checking his inbox! I'm not even sure how often he will get a chance to use the internet, but we'll hopefully figure this out soon and get some kind of schedule going.
We shall see. I will be happy with whatever I can get right now!!
Well, until tomorrow.. good night!
This day was filled with me packing to take a trip home for the holidays, and driving 10 hours across the country!
I actually teetered back and forth a bit about leaving this day. A part of me didn't want to leave all his stuff.. it was a piece of him and made me feel closer to him, being surrounded by it I suppose.
But, I was too anxious to sit around and be alone and I knew I eventually was going to have to leave and go home to visit family, and so I marched onward!
It took forever to pack and then I forgot I should probably clean out the fridge, and then do dishes and take out trash, and unplug everything and turn down the heat.. I was tired before I ever got out the door!!!
I finally loaded up my car, like everything I could possibly need in a 2 week time period...games, movies, about 6 pair of shoes, a CROCK-POT for Pete's sake!!! (But it IS the holidays and you never know when you will need to make wassail! And if you've never had it, you should!)
I left around 1:00pm, and arrived "back home" around 11:30pm (my time) So all in all it took about 10 1/2 hrs, with only a few glitches along the way. I was a tad worried about my car, as it smelled a bit sweet like it was over heating, however it wasn't. I will be getting it checked out before I head back.
Now on to the interesting part of this day! I visited with my mom for a while once I got in and unloaded.
Monday, December 20th 2010 - Day Two.
My cell phone rang at about 1:19am on Monday morning! I knew who it had to be and I was SO excited.
I honestly didn't think I would hear from him for a couple days due to traveling.
It was so nice to hear his voice! He informed me that they were already in Kuwait! I couldn't believe it!
The delay was pretty bad from when he would say something, and I would hear it and try to respond, but he might already be starting to say something else, so it was a little difficult to have a flow to the conversation. He said I didn't sound to bad though, so maybe it was only on my end. The USO there had free 20 minute phone calls for them, which I am so thankful for!! That was such a great surprise!!
Apparently they flew directly from the U.S. to Germany, which I figured they would have a lay over or something in D.C. since he was leaving from Kansas! So he got to see two sunrises in one day and had about 2 hours of sleep. His head was "wishy-washy" he said and he felt drunk from being sleep deprived.
There were a couple times he didn't really make a ton of sense, poor thing!
Twenty minutes flew by and I wasn't ready to get off the phone, but we really didn't have much else to talk about. My day had only been driving and trying to keep alert and focused on the road. His day(s) were all blended together and he wasn't really sure which way was up.
It's so strange that he is that far away. I think that is ONE of the most difficult parts to this puzzle. There is no fast way to get to each other. There is a lot of land, and ocean, more land, and a freaking desert to go through in order to be with him at this point. Before, when he was at AIT (advanced individual training) it was only a half-day of flying and wah-lah! I even flew down to Virginia a couple times over the weekend. It was exhausting, but it was always worth it.
I can't remember the time difference. I think they are 8 or 9 hours ahead. He said once they get to Iraq, it might be less. But when I go home, it'll be an extra hour anyway. It's all quite confusing! I keep counting all day to myself... "Okay, so it's 2pm here, so it's gotta be...3,4,5...10pm there!" And then I wonder what he is doing at that moment, halfway across the world.
I have been pretty emotional all day today. It has finally sunk in. I was missing our apartment, and missing him, and wishing we were both back there together. I have been trying so hard to "stay strong" like he asks me to, for him. I think a person can still be a strong person, and also at the same time have a day where our skin just isn't as tough as it usually is. I think that just means you're human.
So it sounded like they were going to be headed to Iraq in a couple days, so either today or tomorrow they'll be heading there, or possibly arriving there. They had some kind of training to do this morning at 0600, but that's about all he knew of at that time.
He said the only "plumbing" facilities were port-o-pots, which I find hard to believe and really gross!
The desert was just that.. a desert. No trees, just sand, and everything tan and flat. The weather was in the high 60's. Lucky for him he is there in the winter time!
I'm not sure when I'll get to talk to him next. I actually sent him 2 emails today... just can't help myself!
If I feel like I need to chat or don't want to forget to tell him something... I gotta get it to him somehow. Text isn't an option right now, so he better be checking his inbox! I'm not even sure how often he will get a chance to use the internet, but we'll hopefully figure this out soon and get some kind of schedule going.
We shall see. I will be happy with whatever I can get right now!!
Well, until tomorrow.. good night!
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Day Zero.
Today I said goodbye to my soldier. It's his first deployment, and mine too.
I am blessed in the sense that he has a short deployment. His group is the last of his unit to be sent over to Iraq, and therefore should only be there until March, boots on the ground, in our home, by March 19th.
I don't know that I can really properly put into words this day. It's been a couple weeks of preparation. I have been trying to stay positive and strong for him. It's been so difficult at times to not just collapse and beg him, and whoever else I had to in order to make him stay home. Pretty sure that wouldn't have worked, and also would make him feel horrible for having to leave.
The last couple days we have been running errands and getting the last few loose ends tied up. Especially with me being simply a girl-friend, and not a spouse, we had much more things to get in place so I would be "taken care of." (his words)
So for the last few days the floor of our apartment has been covered with camo gear! I don't mind it. I like the camo and what it stands for, and it reminds me of what makes my boyfriend who he is and what HE stands for.
I take pride in washing ACU's (that is the typical camo uniform that soldiers wear) and P.T. uniforms! (that is the gray army t's and black pants/shorts that they wear for physical training)
Doing those things have been one of the few things I could do to help out recently. It is definitely a challenge for people like me who like to plan and be in control of the situation and know what is going on and make sure to be planned properly. There has been very little I could do to help prepare. So I had to find other ways to support my soldier and be a valuable part of the relationship. (in my eyes)
While typing this, I received a text message updating me on what he is doing now.. on the bus, got weighed with all his gear on, and now waiting for the next step...which I don't know what that is.
It is such a difficult waiting game. I don't even know (and neither does he) when his flight takes off, or where it leaves from, or where he is going. I know the eventual final destination, but not when he'll be there, or what his schedule will be like so we can talk via webcam. It is quite frustrating at times... but I have learned (and am still learning) to roll with the punches and try not to make mountains out of mole-hills.
Right now, I know that he is safe, en-route to God-knows-where, but in good hands.
I know that he wants me to take care of myself, and to not break down into nothing like I want to at times.
And so, I have decided to do those things for him. If there is nothing else that I can do, I can control me and what I do, and how I react to this whole situation.
Somehow (probably due to the vodka tonic I just had!) I am more at peace now then I have been all week.
I think the anticipation has been brutal and nerve-wrecking! I would sit and watch him sleep and try to soak up all that I could and commit each of his breaths to memory, all of his smells, his laugh, his touch. I wanted to just absorb him and pack it all in a box so I could open it up and be with him somehow, when he wasn't there.
I am actually wearing the shirt he had on today now. It smells good! :) I can't help it. When you love someone so much and have to be a part, you will do strange things just to feel close again.
There wasn't much of a "going away" party on base. It was basically family gathered in a way-too-small-for-the-amount-of-people conference room. There were a handful of brochures and booklets for spouses (I managed to snag a spouses "survival kit") and some resources for parents, etc.
It was a bit of a shock when they announced to wrap up "family time" and goodbyes because in a few minutes the soldiers were to form up and would march out and to the next building to prepare for departure from the company. I thought we were there waiting for some kind of ceremony or something. Of course, most of the people there had no idea what to expect either.
We hugged and kissed and held hands. I chocked back tears, trying so hard not to truly break down on the outside like I was on the inside. He told me to be good. (like he always does) I told him to take care of himself.. and he told me to do the same.. I told him I will and he said. "You promise?" I know he is worried about me... but I somehow choke out that I promise. He did well, not showing much emotion...I could only feel his love for me radiating into me and keeping me upright.
A few minutes later, after formation and prayer, the first two rows march out, and next row up includes my soldier. It was so hard to see him headed for that door. I was so relieved though that he looked over and waved bye to me. I don't think they are really supposed to do that but I did see some others doing the same, and you just never know when the last time might be, so there will never be enough goodbye (or "see-ya-soon") hugs, kisses, waves, winks, smiles or glances for me.
I've only just met a couple of the other army wives. I briefly joined their small huddle in the back of the conference room to quietly wipe my tears with the rest of them. It was only a few minutes and we all sucked it up and headed out to our cars. I've learned quickly, that's just what you do. You stay strong, you let out a few tears, and you move on.
I've never felt so weak, and yet so strong at the same time in all my life. I know it's a shock still. It's all very surreal and hasn't fully sunk in, I don't believe. I know myself, and I know that there will be bad days, with emotional breakdowns, but that's life and it's how we are supposed to grow. As long as I don't get stuck there, it'll all be okay.
I knew that returning to our apartment was going to be difficult. I actually took a second glance back into the apartment on my way out the door before we left for the base... I thought to myself that this is how it looks with both of us here, and this is how it will look when I come back alone. I'm sure it sounds strange, but for me it was a mental preparation of sorts so I wouldn't feel so in shock when I returned alone, to an empty and camo covered apartment. I think it helped. I cried for a few minutes as I wondered around trying to figure out what to do with myself. I easily decided upon vodka tonic and comfort food. Well deserved if I must say.
I am anxious for news of his travels and safe arrival overseas. I know it will be days or even a week until he's there and settled. So this begins our short chapter apart, and hopefully it will go quickly!
I love you soldier. You are in my heart.
I am blessed in the sense that he has a short deployment. His group is the last of his unit to be sent over to Iraq, and therefore should only be there until March, boots on the ground, in our home, by March 19th.
I don't know that I can really properly put into words this day. It's been a couple weeks of preparation. I have been trying to stay positive and strong for him. It's been so difficult at times to not just collapse and beg him, and whoever else I had to in order to make him stay home. Pretty sure that wouldn't have worked, and also would make him feel horrible for having to leave.
The last couple days we have been running errands and getting the last few loose ends tied up. Especially with me being simply a girl-friend, and not a spouse, we had much more things to get in place so I would be "taken care of." (his words)
So for the last few days the floor of our apartment has been covered with camo gear! I don't mind it. I like the camo and what it stands for, and it reminds me of what makes my boyfriend who he is and what HE stands for.
I take pride in washing ACU's (that is the typical camo uniform that soldiers wear) and P.T. uniforms! (that is the gray army t's and black pants/shorts that they wear for physical training)
Doing those things have been one of the few things I could do to help out recently. It is definitely a challenge for people like me who like to plan and be in control of the situation and know what is going on and make sure to be planned properly. There has been very little I could do to help prepare. So I had to find other ways to support my soldier and be a valuable part of the relationship. (in my eyes)
While typing this, I received a text message updating me on what he is doing now.. on the bus, got weighed with all his gear on, and now waiting for the next step...which I don't know what that is.
It is such a difficult waiting game. I don't even know (and neither does he) when his flight takes off, or where it leaves from, or where he is going. I know the eventual final destination, but not when he'll be there, or what his schedule will be like so we can talk via webcam. It is quite frustrating at times... but I have learned (and am still learning) to roll with the punches and try not to make mountains out of mole-hills.
Right now, I know that he is safe, en-route to God-knows-where, but in good hands.
I know that he wants me to take care of myself, and to not break down into nothing like I want to at times.
And so, I have decided to do those things for him. If there is nothing else that I can do, I can control me and what I do, and how I react to this whole situation.
Somehow (probably due to the vodka tonic I just had!) I am more at peace now then I have been all week.
I think the anticipation has been brutal and nerve-wrecking! I would sit and watch him sleep and try to soak up all that I could and commit each of his breaths to memory, all of his smells, his laugh, his touch. I wanted to just absorb him and pack it all in a box so I could open it up and be with him somehow, when he wasn't there.
I am actually wearing the shirt he had on today now. It smells good! :) I can't help it. When you love someone so much and have to be a part, you will do strange things just to feel close again.
There wasn't much of a "going away" party on base. It was basically family gathered in a way-too-small-for-the-amount-of-people conference room. There were a handful of brochures and booklets for spouses (I managed to snag a spouses "survival kit") and some resources for parents, etc.
It was a bit of a shock when they announced to wrap up "family time" and goodbyes because in a few minutes the soldiers were to form up and would march out and to the next building to prepare for departure from the company. I thought we were there waiting for some kind of ceremony or something. Of course, most of the people there had no idea what to expect either.
We hugged and kissed and held hands. I chocked back tears, trying so hard not to truly break down on the outside like I was on the inside. He told me to be good. (like he always does) I told him to take care of himself.. and he told me to do the same.. I told him I will and he said. "You promise?" I know he is worried about me... but I somehow choke out that I promise. He did well, not showing much emotion...I could only feel his love for me radiating into me and keeping me upright.
A few minutes later, after formation and prayer, the first two rows march out, and next row up includes my soldier. It was so hard to see him headed for that door. I was so relieved though that he looked over and waved bye to me. I don't think they are really supposed to do that but I did see some others doing the same, and you just never know when the last time might be, so there will never be enough goodbye (or "see-ya-soon") hugs, kisses, waves, winks, smiles or glances for me.
I've only just met a couple of the other army wives. I briefly joined their small huddle in the back of the conference room to quietly wipe my tears with the rest of them. It was only a few minutes and we all sucked it up and headed out to our cars. I've learned quickly, that's just what you do. You stay strong, you let out a few tears, and you move on.
I've never felt so weak, and yet so strong at the same time in all my life. I know it's a shock still. It's all very surreal and hasn't fully sunk in, I don't believe. I know myself, and I know that there will be bad days, with emotional breakdowns, but that's life and it's how we are supposed to grow. As long as I don't get stuck there, it'll all be okay.
I knew that returning to our apartment was going to be difficult. I actually took a second glance back into the apartment on my way out the door before we left for the base... I thought to myself that this is how it looks with both of us here, and this is how it will look when I come back alone. I'm sure it sounds strange, but for me it was a mental preparation of sorts so I wouldn't feel so in shock when I returned alone, to an empty and camo covered apartment. I think it helped. I cried for a few minutes as I wondered around trying to figure out what to do with myself. I easily decided upon vodka tonic and comfort food. Well deserved if I must say.
I am anxious for news of his travels and safe arrival overseas. I know it will be days or even a week until he's there and settled. So this begins our short chapter apart, and hopefully it will go quickly!
I love you soldier. You are in my heart.
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